you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
