I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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