I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
