what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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