stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
