halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
A+ Viking dick
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
