how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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