??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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