dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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