I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
