for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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