I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize