He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize