I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize