haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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