i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
