That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
