he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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