Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
