Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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