i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
