No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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