i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
