i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
