Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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