You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
