I got chris browned last night
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
