Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
