Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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