Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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