Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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