New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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