yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
