we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
