I hope mine doesn't look like that
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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