My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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