he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Randomize
