Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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