I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My ATM looks so different sober.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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