Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
