You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
