No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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