Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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