Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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