When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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