i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
