You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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