Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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