Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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