There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
