last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
