its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
