I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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