Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
