vagina is talking i cant
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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