And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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